Unaddressed Letters to Some I Met Along The Way
I learned from you the importance of topology.
Formerly, I thought topology was created so MIT students could make hilarious jokes about being unable to distinguish a bagel from a coffee cup. You taught me it was developed for literary theory - particularly for the analysis of the works of Ted Chiang, and of all his works The Tower of Babylon most of all.
My reading of The Tower of Babylon was confused until I met you. You explained that on reaching the heavens, the narrator finds himself on the ground once more. That is, he was in a 3-torus. And this is deeply meaningful. What is meaningful about this is that a 3-torus is a shape, and stories need to have shapes. Specifically, stories must have a shape that is homeomorphic to the Cartesian product of three circles. Previous works attempted to imply this through metaphor or structural games. It took a genius of Ted Chiang-caliber to create a narrator who literally finds himself where he started, knowing it (as a 3-torus) for the first time.
We became friends because we were in the same writing circle, and I wrote a very flattering response to one of your essays I read there. I wasn't lying about your writing. If only one Inkhavener makes it as a professional blogger, I suspect it will be you. I am glad I decided to respond to your essay with my own, as it seems very possible we would not have become friends otherwise. My apologies for the heresy in the above letter. Still, Greg Egan > Ted Chiang. Them just facts.
I was considering leaving early given how much I was not feeling it in my first days at Inkhaven. You were one of three people who I had long conversations with during that time. I likely would have left if not for those conversations.
We write in very different ways. You showed me an unpolished draft when we first met. I assumed I was a sufficiently better writer that I could offer you advice. Then I read something you had polished. It was extremely beautiful. I am autoregressive. You are diffusive. I don't think I will ever write sentences that flow as well as yours do. You seem to be a perfectionist. I am cheering for you to write a great novel - great but not perfect. Perfection is for the gods, and the gods have no need for novels.
In my first few days at Lighthaven, I was slightly depressed. But talking to you made me feel better. I think we both felt like outsiders and both found a place anyway. You owe me beers or I owe you beers. I can't remember. I will be in the UK next year. We will drink together once more. I am imagining my side of the conversation now:
"It is a Von Braun Wheel, you say? But aren't wheels cylinders? So Von Braun Wheels are also Von Braun cylinders. Really, they're just O'Neill cylinders, aren't they?"
You mentioned initially disliking me. You were not particularly good at hiding this, honoring me with the rare gift of your last prickle. I intended to avoid you and succeeded in this for the first two weeks. But I am glad I got to know you a little in the end. Of particular interest was the manner in which you maneuver an automobile. "Driving" is too generous a word. In my sincere fiction, I think what I am trying to say has something to do with how easy it is to betray the self. You seem to give a lot of yourself to others. Don't give everything. You mentioned not having a goal. Maybe try to think about what would hurt the most to give away. You might find something there.
I don't have much advice for you. I get the sense you will have little trouble figuring your life out. You seem pretty wise, even though young. I suppose my advice is this: maybe find some better grovelers. Really, you were renting the cheapest grovelers this month. It's unbecoming. They kept repeating the same jokes over and over again to save computation. It's fine to have grovelers, but at least buy and don't buy used. Also, spend some more money on taste simulation. The soda you claim to love so much is awful. Yet for some reason, I could not stop drinking it. Did I mention I invented heaven banning?
I was slightly scared of you because I listened to your podcast for years, so you were a bit of a celebrity in my mind. You are among the nicest people I have ever met. I will always remember your famous quote, "I am not a man slut. I haven't even slept with anyone new this year! Unless you count all the orgies!" I wish you good luck in your new life in SF and more Joes should you require them.
I hope you keep writing about sex, despite your girlfriend's mother now being a subscriber. The Casanova has three stages in his lifecycle. First he seduces in the selfish pursuit of his own pleasure, then in the selfless pursuit of his partners' pleasure, and finally returns to selfishness: seducing primarily to manufacture content so he can get more Substack subscribers. It is time for your final metamorphosis.
And don't worry. I will keep writing until the end.
You have only read four works of fiction in your life. Yet English literature was completed when you published My Idea of What’s in the Female Erotica Section of the Bookstore. It was an honor to have helped edit this great work. I think I am a pretty funny writer, but I wrote nothing as funny as MIoWiitFESotB in my month at Inkhaven. May you never run out of La Roche-Posay.
Also, you owe me five dollars.