Rational Teletubbies
Tinky Winky was a fetal prodigy. He knew how to count before he was born. His mother's heartbeat was enough. That made him think he needed some means of tracking progression. He then created a numerical system. It was base-2. It was maybe better, really, than the base-10 system he learned just before he was born by watching the television in his stomach. Speaking of his stomach-television, it was broken in the womb. This was normal. All baby teletubbies have non-working stomach-televisions, and there is this adorable-but-inefficient ritual in which their mothers repair their baby's stomach-televisions and turn them on for the first time.
But Tinky Winky was a fetal prodigy, as I mentioned, superior to the other teletubbies and the world he would soon be born into, the world he would soon criticize as feeling almost like it was made for toddlers. And he fixed his stomach-television before he was born. Even as a fetus he felt like an adult, even more like an adult than the adults he saw on his stomach-television.
And everyone was shocked when he came out with a working stomach television. His mother didn't know how to handle it. Tinky Winky felt really bad. He tried to explain in a constructed language he developed to clarify his own thoughts, and she didn't understand it. This was deeply distressing to him. Not just the pain of his mother not understanding but, also, the fact that she spoke Teletubbish, which is dumber even than the Queen's English and just utter garbage compared to his amazing conlang. He wished he was God in that moment.
If only everyone was as smart and cool as he was. He would change that. This was his life goal now. He was a Hero. And he would change this world so it matched his tastes. Because what purpose could this world have? What point is there to a world that feels like it was made for toddlers? Truly an irrational world.
Speaking of the other teletubbies who are not as smart and cool as me and maybe I don't even see the point of at all but still consider morally valuable because I am a good person, thought Tinky Winky. Why haven't the teletubbies had an industrial revolution yet? On Earth there are machines other than stomach-televisions. He learned a lot about Earth by staring at his own navel. He even watched many clips of his hero Richard Feynman. He is pretty sure Feynman and he would be best friends if Tinky Winky was born on Earth and in Feynman's time rather than in Teletubbyland.
And at this moment, Tinky Winky is thinking, I like a good frolic in the grassy hills as much as anyone. But there has to be more to life. We can make things better! It is time to kill the narrator in the sky!
He can hear the narrator because he has just finished altering his stomach-television in a really cool way using the amazing science skills he learned from Richard Feynman documentaries. And now with his television tuned just right, he can hear the sky voice. And the sky voice is describing him now. And he finds it really unsettling to be described by a kind of avuncular-but-posh British voice.
Luckily, he is really smart and clever and figured out how to alter his television to kill the god-narrator and take over. It's kinda like the ACE (arbitrary code execution) he has seen in the cool speed-running videos he watches on his stomach-television sometimes. He pushes a button on his stomach-television and launches the exploit:
Tinky Winky just speedran an industrial revolution and now everyone born is a fetal prodigy by the old standards, because he introduced iterated embryo selection, too. And they built computers and they are solving the alignment problem. And they just solved it and now they live in utopia and everyone speaks his amazing conlang. And Feynman is his best friend, too. The world is really amazing and complex.
Any toddlers watching would not be entertained.